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\/__/ \/__/ \/__/ \/__/ one.one
20.8.02
Irish Media Heights Organisation
www.imho.8m.com
by Hugh mT
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An Internet and media newsletter coalescing in your mailbox every N
days, where N is a prime between five and infinity.
Best viewed in Courier New. They just don't make fonts like they
used to.
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Please FORWARD this to anyone you think might be interested: if
that's how you received this, then please SUBSCRIBE by sending mail
to imho@dublin.com with the word 'subscribe' in the subject line.
C'mon, we're not gonna sell your e-mail addresses: you think we can
afford to betray your trust like that? With a readership of 42?
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FAKING NEWS.......................................Flotsam and Jetsam
Following recent public relations problems, the GARDA SIOCHANA find
themselves directionless, without a mission:
http://www.gov.ie/garda/
Dublin Corporation's cameras reveal that traffic is moving freely on
the roof of the Ambassador Theatre, Parnell Street, at least:
http://www.imho.8m.com/pics/traffic.html
After the recent resignation of some of the more superannuated Professors
at Trinity, the college finds itself in need of a new system for
"spitting out or spraying particles of saliva or food from the mouth in
noisy bursts":
http://makeashorterlink.com/?W25622191 and
http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=Sputtering
(Perhaps disappointed tenderers for that contract might be able to
furnish the Western Health Board with the "Incontience Kit" they need:
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V47613191)
Is this the longest court report for a street assault ever? Or does
the Machiavellian complexity of the fracas justify its detail? YOU
can be the judge!
http://www.connaughttelegraph.net/index.php?id=621
The Galway Arts Festival and the Races are long over, but an even
stranger invasion is taking place in Eyre Square:
http://www.imho.8m.com/pics/mug.html
* * * * * * * * *
SUB-SUBCULTURES..............................You Didn't Know Existed
This issue: Dublin Bus obsessives
In the red, seriously weird corner: Kevin, who - in common with all
Dublin Bus commuters - has become "Olympian obsessed", and his bus-
spotting pals:
http://makeashorterlink.com/?Y2D542271
(and the front page at http://www.dublinbusphotos.homestead.com/)
At least the site updates come more often than the number 39 bus.
In the even-redder, fuming-with-rage corner, the right-thinking
activists of the rather wonderful busrage.com, and their demand that
all the transport fat cats lose their cars and take the bus, _every
day_:
http://busrage.com/petition/index.html
Watch this space.
* * * * * * * * *
I'M GETTING LUCKY.......Like Everyone Else, We're Down On The IEDR
Go to Google. Enter "hard adult website ireland" in the query
box, and press "I'm Feeling Lucky".
* * * * * * * * *
EDITOR'S CHOICE: DOWNLOAD.................."I'll assault who I like"
Keeping on the Garda theme, and following on from recent reports
that probably only one Garda is to face prosecution for the events
of the May Bank Holiday, there can only be one real recommendation
for download this issue. It's gotta be the Indymedia footage of the
wholly-justified asskicking doled out to those shameless ne'er-do-
wells, the democratic RTS protestors - available here:
http://www.indymedia.ie/cgi-bin/newswire.cgi?id=3261
There's still that suspicion though that it was that near-naked
Marilyn Manson lookalike guy in the studded leather thong that
really drove the cops over the edge:
http://www.indymedia.ie/img_up/up_3/3262_3.JPG
If only he'd worn trousers...
* * * * * * * * *
EDITOR'S CHOICE: EVENT.............................Mingle and Mangle
Interested in beer? Who isn't! Interested in Linux? Presumably
some of you are. Interested in hiking? Well, uh... Interested in
"Conceiv[ing] of the utterly cool"? Uh, what?
Well then, you'd be mad to miss THE LINUX BEER HIKE, described by
its organisers as "a week-long, international summer event in which
Linux users from around the world get together, exchange ideas, hack
Linux, drink beer, take in a little local scenery and have a lot of
fun". Originating in Bavaria - of course - this year's hike takes
place in Doolin, Co. Clare! This is your chance to do your bit for
1r1sh Linuxdom in front of all those hardcore Germans and Finns.
http://www.lbw2002.draiocht.net/
If you won't go for your own sake, go for Doolin's: after all, "A
group of beer-drinking geeks spending all their money in the local
economy for a week can only be a good thing".
* * * * * * * * *
EDITOR'S CHOICE: JOB.........................Spreading the < GOSPEL/ >
Obviously the most fun job coming up in the near future is that of
the judge in the Alfie Haaland vs. Roy Keane stg£5m lawsuit - but if
you're not quite qualified for that, would you consider becoming
Advertising and Website Co-ordinator for VERITAS?
Yes, that's THE Veritas, publishers of such timeless classics as
"Padre Pio: His Life and Mission" and "The Way of the Cross". They
want someone with excellent writing skills and a high level of
computer literacy, who can deliver to deadlines and work as part of
a team, blah blah blah, to sell advertising space, do some
copywriting and manage their site. It doesn't say anything here
about needing experience in choirs or as an altar boy... so go on,
give it a whirl! It could be your ticket out of here! The job
appears to be in Lower Abbey Street, Dublin, applications close on
the 30th August, and you can get more info from
publications@veritas.ie, or on their website at
http://www.veritas.ie.
(I didn't know they SOLD advertising in those kind of things...)
* * * * * * * * *
EDITOR'S CHOICE: LEGACY MEDIA..........What Your TV Licence Pays For
So, you're pulling a sickie on Wednesday in order to start drinking
vodka early for the INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLY, IRELAND V FINLAND (Net
2, 17:35), and you've never seen RING OF BRIGHT WATER (Net 2,
10:10)? *Be prepared for a very unpleasant shock in the last five
minutes*! That's all we'll say. Also on Network 2 that day, but
showing perplexingly late (0:10), is that classic 70s populist
Orwellian dystopiascapade LOGAN'S RUN - and compulsory euthanasia at
age 30 used to seem SO OLD when the TV series first appeared...
If you're still not watching MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (Thursday, TV3,
7:30), then why not? As post-Simpsons family-centric sitcoms go,
it's probably the best. Later, you can watch Clint lumber and
squint his way through a rare 'sensitive' role in BRONCO BILLY on
Thursday night at 23:00, courtesy of TG4, but then you'll have to
tape the highly-rated Danish wino-drama THE BENCH (Network 2,
23:55). Or you could just tape neither...
But then you'll be hard-pressed to find something decent on Irish
channels on Friday night, with bilge like PHENOMENON and CITY OF JOY
filling up the airwaves. You might find some redemption watching
Caan and Duvall muddle their way through THE KILLER ELITE (TV3,
12:45), a sub-par Peckinpah espionage/hitmen piece from 1975, but
heck, it's Friday night, shouldn't you be out there getting involved
in balletic and strangely consecrated violence yourself?
Saturday shows a slight improvement, with the Rebel-Assault-On-
Death-Star-inspiring 633 SQUADRON on Network 2 at 15:20, the ever-
dependable A-TEAM on that same station at 18:00 (always a joy to
count how many ways they can triumph through violence, but without
ever actually HURTING anyone), and the hilariously risible
Oirishness of THE DEVIL'S OWN (TV3, 21:00). Later, Mr. Eastwood
gets back to basics and raises Hell in HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER (TV3,
1:10). Wasn't THE DEAD POOL on a few days back? He must be in a
fair few dead pools himself, by now...
* * * * * * * * *
EDITOR'S CHOICE: THE NET.........There's A World Outside Your Window
Well, obviously we want you to forward this first issue of IMHO to
as many people as you can. But if any of them have seen it already,
maybe you can expect a response like this:
http://www.dashes.com/anil/index.php?fram.php
So, George W. Bush has a ranch just outside of Waco; sure, of
course, anyone could have guessed that. But did you know you can
see a satellite photo of it online? (Don't they have graphical
browsers in Afghanistan, then?)
http://cryptome.org/prez-eyeball.htm
Gee, it's a good thing the gardai don't have any narcotics
helicopters:
http://www.drugwar.com/pburninghouse.shtm
Electronic Data Systems - employer of approximately 400 in Ireland -
are putting in a lot of appearances in the Super Happy Fun Slander
Corner on F*ckedcompany.com these days...
e.g. http://makeashorterlink.com/?X19923F81
With a new Bond movie imminent, we can only hope Brosnan and co. are
reading this:
http://www.gamespy.com/fargo/august02/jamesbond/
* * * * * * * * *
COLOPHON................................................Over And Out
We're concentrating as much as possible on the IRISH Internet,
dammit, and it's a small country. So we could really use YOUR help.
Mail us your topical Irish net news, your high-profile .ie failures,
your worthy Gaelic successes, your hilarious local web
misadventures, anything that seems messed-up, inappropriate or
insane... or just mail us your feedback. (That address is
imho@dublin.com)
But whatever you do, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send this on to as many
people as you can.
If you don't, we'll set the guards on you.
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